The "Should" way of living is fallible because it denies "Chaos." (and by avoiding chaos, it somehow creates more.)
Friends, loved ones, and acquaintances who are confident in the attainment of my immediate goals, tend to forget how much I love chaos. Sometimes, when I see myself too clearly through the illusion of their eyes, I can forget how much I adore the mystery of it all. When their commands and suggestions overwhelm me with fear, I tend to ask: "What if the unfolding of the universe can only occur if chaos is present? What if the answers to life's questions are found in an infinite mystery?" Why do I appreciate choas? Well...I am "okay" with chaos because:
Chaos (chance) births the overwhelming arousal that accompanies the wind of a new day as it slaps me in the face.
The vibrance of my individuality and the possibility of my free will dwell within brief moments of chaos (variability), before I decide what I choose.
Chaos paints the nuances of emotional intensity (irrationality) of my psyche and the rhythm of my emotional flow. And provides the platform to create intrinsic interpretation. Chaos makes me vulnerable, sad, angry, excited, and hopeful.
Chaos (unpredictability) creates character traits like resiliency, humility, and compassion.
Chaos (randomness) make me imperfect and unique.
So how will I find my personal answers within the chaos of the mystery unveiled? By increasing the varied capacity and embracing the chaos. And, yeah... signs.
Signs, you ask? You know, those abstract external ones that send messages to my inner most being. Those synchronicities that bloom inside the dead of night like miracle messages... pointing like a compass to my path: to the sky, the ground, the ocean, my heart!
Instead of seeking signs in the abundant chaos around me, I have been narrowly listening to the guidance of others and we all know what happens when we count too much on others... (don't we?)
As much as I love chaos , to be continually in the state of appending decision, is not healthy. So, I claim a healthy balance! Chaos is an ephemeral state, and order, more stable... but, chaos should neither be ignored nor should it be looked down upon. It's not that bad: It is what you make it...
Here is my personal sense, do with it what you please. I will be open to trotting down eccentric paths, to deepen my understanding of life's mystery, while maintaining a stable enough mind for the choosing.
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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)
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