A Piece of Us

I just finished watching a dramatic three hour long movie called "War and Peace." I enjoyed it thorougly (not only because Audrey Hepburn played a leading role, but...) because it hit home with me. The character of the poor man, shot in the heart for resting admidst the marching tides of falling men, resonated with me most. He said "where there are laws, there is injustice." He optimistically prayed throughout the movie, though his aparent fate fell to a scared soldier of the short but overpowering dictator Napolean. The poor man smiled and praised his murder lovingly, as if his own will called for it. His last words implored the soldier why he was so scared to fire his gun.

I wondered- if I were the one to enforce laws and inspire armies of men to advance in my name, where would I draw the line between war and peace? Napolean had so many choice points to create peace but at each turn he pushed for war, and in the end ... although he usurped Moscow, the scarce population of which he reigned didn't satisfy Napolean.

I know deep in my soul that I am a soldier in many ways. Perhaps it's related to energy I hold from past lifes. Though we fight with loyalty for what we love - family, land, nation, governing prinicipals- When is it a good time to fight to the death? Is it ever?

Historically the way rulers have dealt with standstill controversy is war. I think the dying poor man in the movie died richer than most -knowing no one died by his hand. In many cases on this warring planet, faith in the ideal of absolute love is the only weapon our hearts may need to find peace.

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

Imitation Artists

So I've been in LA for a little bit over a year now, and I've got a good sense of the scene.
There's so many different types of people. You have your leather jacket rockers with greasy black hair. You have your pumped up surfer DJs, rappers who take selfies and rock G's , model singers who hire songwriters to write for them, ect...

I tried to see where I would stand exactly amongst all of them, & I couldn't fit myself into any one box. There's been many instances where people have wanted me to write with them, and instead of using creative chords and unique progressions, they wanted to stick to the three chord formula. Nothing depresses me more than being forced to use a formula. If I chose to use the formula because I felt that I should... Then my feeling would dictate my use of the formula and I would be okay with that.

I don't feel like Music is feeling based anymore... It's become too logical. I feel that if people would communicate their feelings (a feeling is worth a thousand thoughts), higher communication would still be up and running. There's something pure about not fitting the mold.

They have not grown to know their inner self yet either. But it takes a child to grow up and learn herself/ himself to truly know that they are individual and that they have an individual self to celebrate.

A lot of people wake up and say I'm going to nurture my inner child. There is a whole stream of people who are doing it. I called them the New Agers. These people are extremely cautious about loving themselves. I get it. However, children don't know who they are yet! They just are. This is the beauty of children, they don't have to premeditate, they don't have to plan. When people want to ignite their inner child and allow them to play, they try to remember their aspirations as a child. But is that completely wise?

Most children don't know who they are yet and may wake up and say,  "I want to be so and so on TV." They want to live in the illusion and the glam of what they see,  but their awareness has not developed to see beyond the rose colored glasses.

So with that said, I think there are a lot of men-children and woman-children who don't know who they are yet- running around the streets pretending they are something else.


Whole genres and subcultures create an energy force field around people to feel safe. The symbols that are associated with that energy blow my mind. Perhaps the symbols resonate with some individuals rather than others. Let's analyze the rock genre for a second.

Leather coats with studs on them and dark hair, the color black, an entourage of  nympho maniacs and a lot of angst. Yes, it's a scene, a safe space, something familiar that fuels the ego to feel safe enough to create anything from a look, to a relationship, to a riff on the guitar with the rock marketing identity to umbrella them. Who am I to judge? I'm just observing...

There were moments in time where I felt like I needed to play with rockers to be accepted by them. I worked with rock musicians, and experimented with that genre. However, it seemed to stress me out! Some people just fit right into ROCK like a glove on hand. Me, maybe it would take time for me to explore my inner rock goddess... hahaha!

So, I was putting my own stuff on hold for a while. But not until recently did I play a gig where I was so perfectly in tune with myself, and played my best as myself... That I realized how much my acceptance and expression of my individuality resonated with people. Perhaps I needed to learn that lesson before I committed completely to my art.


Creating is still in working progress
 ♡♡♡ Much love to you. Thanks for listening, friends ♡♡♡

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

Straight Out of Compton

I was in a movie filmed last August 2014, yet to be released in August 2015, called  "Straight Out of Compton." I was the token white girl in the crowd singing along with a climactic scene anthem: " Fuck the Police" ...  

When waiting on the long extra line for the film, a group of black men kept pushing into me on line, telling me to "get the fuck out of the way" cause I didn't belong ... "You skinny white bitch shouldn't be here"... One physically assaulted me pushing me into a small corner by the entrance door. They were tired or waiting on line and had mistaken my soft demeanor as a way in.  When I tried to reason with them, and  let them know how irrational they were being, they would curse and try to intimidate me by standing really close to me, yelling in my face . I remember feeling so disappointed and disheartened that these people wouldn't let me be. They didn't have spiritual eyes, so how could they see me? They didn't know my mind, recognize how I feel about black culture, count my closest friends and see how dark they are... 

They didn't know I had recently undergone past life regression therapy to witness myself in another age- a black slave abused in every way possible... They didn't know the strength of my soul or my secrets- but yet, felt entitled to hurt me. I reported them to the director's helper, who had his pants practically down to his knees (a prison identity fashion) and he was just as rude to me as the group of blank men. A black police officer comforted me and apologized for the gang  (us-and-them) mentality that exists in the black community. He told the man who pushed me  and a couple of men from the group to leave the premises. 

Mom always knows when something is wrong..even though I live in Los Angeles and she lives in New York. Just when I snuck into the restroom of the crew holding area, with tears submerging my vision,  overwhelmed by the chaos, mommy called frantically asking me if I was okay. Mom always knows how to comfort me. She said she felt something was off and needed to call. Mom's voice lulled me to that inner peace I know so well. She's my human angel.

Being bullied is not easy. Perhaps I was triggered because my bully in elementary school was a black boy. Or maybe my soul is confused about it's identity. Or even more so, maybe the world is confused, because of it's cyclical pain and victim-mentality overload. 

When I was ready to come out of the bathroom a beautiful model-like black woman asked me if I was okay. I told her what happened. A group of black and Hispanic women circled  me in the bathroom and started to comfort me with words, expressing that they don't know why people are so mean- practicing the very racism that they feel victimized by. When we were in the concert area some girls who heard about the story would randomly come by and rub my back and tell me how strong I am. 

One guy who lingered on set from the group of bullies, moved by the amount of love I got from fellow actors, came over to me and apologized for his friend's behavior. 

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

Kicked in the face

Lately I've had such an adrenaline rush. Trusting in the kindness of strangers on the road has left me a a bit burned... But it feeds the fire within me to rage through it. I've been slaving in the restaurant business, and they won't graduate me from the hostess position just yet because I seem to bring a lot of heads into the place. I went from being a psychologist making good money to being a restaurant slave. It is what it is. It's a lot of push for the money makers, and all they care about is my statistics. Got into a car crash, the guy who rear ended me at a yield sign called up my insurance company claiming he was my husband to cancel the tow truck. It's been one trip after another... From poison, to stalker, to weird musician masterbating in the room while I slept, to escaping Watts and then returning... It's been a trip of survival flavored by the bitter sexualized projection of lonely dark fellows. And each inch of it strips me a bit, smooths my once ego in a turbulent scheme so that what was once soft patches on my skin is consistantly hard and smooth. I was just staying on a drug counselor's couch. He was sweet at first but was resistant to connecting on a deeper level and it left me feeling lonely and thirsty... So apparently all of the situations in my life (a life I so freely flung myself into) have left me hungry for substance, truth, consistency, and love. This guy was super blissed out but ironically quite harsh when it came to me talking about pain. He started flashing new agey books at me like the "secret." Man, I've been through that magic, I know all about it... But I feel it tends to blame the victim, and he said I brought all the pain of the journey onto myself and I told him that the free will choices of bastards have created unbalance. It's realism rather than fantasy that brings me into the force. I didn't dream this realm up... It's a collaborative effort and yes earth has much darkness. I won't ignore it... It's reality... And somehow it effects me in a divine way... ----MUSIC... May my medicine bring the demons forward and may they forever be twisted upon the sound of sweet harmony propelling it; implosively expelling it each step of the way.

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

When did music become a cock show?

When did music become a cock show?
I went to an open mic that I'm very familiar with in Glendale today. I know it's usually a sausage party there, in other words it's mostly men. But there was a nice group of young women at a table who did a fabulous job jammin' out with jembe and  guitar. What am I getting at?

 Well the first musician that ever existed was in 3500 B.C.E., her name was Enheduanna. She was a priestess. Her purpose was to open the heart of man and channel the divine wholeness of the creator. Music was ritualistically engrained with poetry and passion- A passion to relate to the spiritual health and love of community. Music was a tool of deep expression and relating- a way to move people's spirits.
When did it become an ego contest?

What did I witness at the open mic? I witnessed a handful of men comparing notes and fraternizing about how fast and how good they play notes. It sounded a lot of technical business to me, and it was stripped of spirit. They all praised each other but not one of the men went up to the women… myself included.

When did music become such a cock contest? When they were playing all this Merry Christmas lighthearted stuff, and the girls wanted me to play again… I warned the guys that my stuff is highly emotional. A couple of men snickered and they said "oh no, not that." Well, sorry to hit you in the head with this one… But an emotion is worth 1000 thoughts, and if I could move you with emotion then maybe your spirit will feel something. Did they feel something and still not offer collaboration. I put my heart and soul into that music, and it was glorious and I felt it's glory… But I'm not sure that they did. What a bummer, maybe if I played like Invar Mansteen and opened my legs wide bouncing up-and-down like I was gyrating an object… Maybe they would feel something… Maybe the closest that they could feel something is in their sexuality, and that's why they have cock contests.

There was one man who came up to me and asked for collaboration, but it seemed pretty superficial. He stopped mid conversation with me to fraternize with an old trumpet player. The trumpet player didn't give me much love at all, but the fact that he was playing so many notes and flopping his ego around like an unbridled cock, had everybody believe that he was good. But does ego equate with goodness? I left without giving my information to the guy who wanted it… Does he really deserve it anyway? I'm learning to find people who appreciate what I do and are on my level, the spirit level. There are so few who get it, but I'm playing for them. They are the gems in the rough.

If you're reading this, and you get what I'm saying, I'm sending you love. If you're reading this, and judging the situation against me, realize that you're probably part of the problem in the way people think. Live in spirit, the ego is just a shell and it's no fun anyway.

"You living in your ego is like living as a pig in your own filth. When you are immersed in the soul, it's like swimming in a comfy blanket. Though the guys were technically good, they had no soul. Jaclyn when you sing it's like you're bearing your big soul and letting it all pour out." - Alex Cortes

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

Greatness is Proportional to Emotion

I realized after coming here (to LA), in pursuit of my musical career that there were a couple of blocks around my heart and my head. I wasn't sure why, as I was doing all the work necessary to increase my range and to become a better singer. What I didn't realize until I conversed with my two new musical roommates and musical landlord, was that I was thinking too much about the logistics of it all. What I need to activate, in order to transcend any blocks, is my deep emotion. The work is found in identifying, processing, and letting go of the emotion of a song. One emotion, after all, is worth a thousand thoughts. People who work on and through emotions, are able to work at a higher level than they would if they were just processing linear logistical streams. 

The irony of my dilemma is this: I used to be a psychologist before I decided to go down the artistic path. Although I was doing counseling work to create a safe place for other people to let go of and express their emotions, I had to maintain a strict objective stance. Now I need to tackle this professional habit in order to grow as a performer/artist. The work I must do is found in rhythm, sincerity, and most of all diligence even when the emotion feels that it is at a standstill.

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music

In many cases war and rape go hand and hand. Killing creation is equivalent to de-sanctifying the womb of the earth and the natural flow of life. If this darkness is such a weak force, why are people so threatened by it? The weak force only comes from weak minded individuals who must rob and pilfer in order to feel sustained.


The weak force is vampiric! Vampires believe they are righteous, justifying their behavior with their thirst. They glorify a history written by victors, unconscious of a legacy of vampiric addiction. In reality, the weak force beings are insufficient.  They must be if they need to coerce and hurt others in order to serve themselves. If they were truly powerful, they would be autonomous... but their need to usurp is defined by their weakness.

There are vast religions and governments that pay homage to the murder/rape of nature's beings. I reject religions that show any trace of this. I think the leaders of such causes are mental vamps. Even governments that promise to protect life parasitically bind themselves to the blood, sweat and tears of a working class' brow... in order to rise. They may attempt to control/limit vast possibilities, morph and mutate transcendental sacred archetypes found in the universe, and dumb the phenomenal expression of life down. When vampires twist the giving nature of life in order to exploit and drain Her before good time. Coercions and control of the masses by vampiric forces traumatize nature for that reason. Life is taken before it is ready to be taken. The weak force has not triumphed, it has only delayed life's beautiful manifestations.

Perhaps people are threatened by a weak force's ability to drain and they may feel nothing is really protecting them. The law of their religions may convince them to nurture the weak force, and so they are focused more on the weak force than they are on the beauty and mystery of life.

Honoring the womb of the earth and keeping creation sacred... lies in the protection of nature, upholding one's self against the predominant chaotic destructive forces, and honoring the nature in you, that made you. Life has one mysterious direction... most times She just wants to give and when She decides in her infinite wisdom, She will take. Only people who respect life can understand her signs and her lessons. If people don't respect her, they end up trying to control everything themselves (and we know what that leads to... weak energy flow)

So my message to all of you, and especially to myself... is this: don't let the bastards get you down! You are life manifest. You are a miracle. You don't have to submit to the weak force to prove you are better or righteous. Knowing your being is more powerful than any being who wants to take it, is the first step. They want you for a reason. You are precious. Guard your life with a strong positive field of life- conscious and life-filled beings.  Protect your life at all costs, and by no means succumb to the ways of energy vampires. They may want to take you down on ground level to grapple with a cause you don't need to struggle with. It's not your fight. Let the vampires fight with themselves until they surrender to life again. It's not you're battle so don't fight it.

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"As sCaRed, as sillY, as joyous, as shameless, as VIBRANT, as DARK, as YOU can BE! Let it pour through you RESPECTFULLY, in the name of PEACE. We uphold TRUTH! To life a life as COLORFUL as you!" - Jaclyn Shaw ("Live Your Art" Movement)

Are you LiSteNinG??  Jaclyn Shaw's Music